Description
Now we have eternal $13 shirts.
This is a silk-screen printed, pre-shrunk, unisex, 100% cotton Raglan-style sports jersey commemorating the Falcon Flyer’s win in the Dubai Junior League Ice Hockey Championship, 2001. UAE Exotic Falconry & Finance is proud to have sponsored this team.
This shirt is being made for the best reasons people make anything. It’s being created because it’s cool, and because Falcons are Fun. You all want a cool shirt, right? I wanna make that happen.
We’re still all in this to have fun, so everyone who wants a shirt should be able to get one. Thank you for supporting me and the horrible things I write.
Falcon Fidelis.
(Or the birds get jealous)
P.S.
Do not read the following if you are not an initiate in the mysteries of Falconmancy.
This is how the shirt works.
The shirt is designed to exploit semiotic coding we’ve all been programmed with, as a bit, to hypnotize strangers. The shirt works on branding magic, like Nike. But instead of selling Nikes, it’s redirecting that programming and energy to make things weirder and cooler.
Wearing a falcon shirt is a provocative act. It confuses people in a way that makes them want to find out more. Why is there Arabic on the front? The confusion and mystery will draw them in. Inevitably, they’ll comment. And any honest answer you give them can only be even more confusing.
Wearing a falcon shirt is a kindness to strangers who want to approach you, in that commenting on it, asking about it, invites comment. It is an elephant in the room, something so unusual that many people can’t help but ask about it.
Protip: Have a quick draw super cool reply on the ready. First impression made. (You’re now that falcon finance weirdo.)
This item is more than just a shirt, it’s more than just fabric and ink. It’s a billboard that suggests certain things about its wearer, their character, status, hobbies, disposition, but in a puzzling way that invites engagement. It’s an antenna that attracts the strange and unusual, it invites the curious, the novelty seeker, and the playful to engage. It attracts the correct kind of energy and interactions, and absolutely repels shit kickers… all while also functioning as sportsball camoflage. A falconer’s bargain.
Wear it when walking amongst the Earthlanders.
Ashley Beighley –
This shirt not only looks great, but it also imbued me with the confidence that, in the past, I could only achieve with a gram of good Colombian fish scale, a full handle of Wild Turkey, and a night with 3-4 of the cheapest escorts you can find in the Scottsdale greater metropolitan area.
Since obtaining the shirt, I have not only gone back to school and finished my degree {in Financial Literacy} but also received an honorary doctorate from a night school in Monaco!
My boyfriend’s wife caught me and her husband “consulting the oracle” together in the bathroom of s Speedway Gas Station, but came to her senses upon catching sight of this shirt.
Now we are running a successful 17 person polycule!!!
Thanks UAE Falconry and Finance, you’ve made my dreams come true!